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Post by thenewjellicle on May 28, 2015 20:06:28 GMT
(There aren't many people on here, but I really want to start a thread anyway!)
Jemima was bored. The older Jellicles were having a meeting. The kittens had to stay in the den. But Jemima snuck off anyway. She was feeling rebellious today.
Jemima snuck off to the border of the Junkyard. She touched the fence. That's a hard fence, she thought.
The kitten slid her paw under the fence. Jemima felt a spider run over her paw. She giggled with delight.
Jemima's ears started to feel itchy. She wanted to scratch it, but she was hungry. Jemima watched as a mouse scurried past. It was just out of her reach. Her itch bugged her too much for her to chase after it. Finally, Jemima scratched her ear. Ah, this is bliss, the tiny cat thought.
Apparently, Jemima's scratching was very loud. Jemima looked over to see a bush shaking. She realized that an animal must be making that noise. Must be Pouncival.
"Pouncival! I know that's you!"
Instead of a reply, she heard a huge roar.
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Post by shamWOW! on Oct 13, 2020 21:37:55 GMT
Vince stopped roaring and coughed. "Sorry about that, I'm doing my vocal exercises. You don't get golden infomercial pipes from nothing, you know." He picked up the mouse in his paws and inhaled it like a vaccuum.
He then began his famous ShamWow spiel. "Hi it's Vince from shamwow, you'll be saying wow every time. It's like a shammy, it's like a towel, it's like a sponge. A regular towel doesn't work wet, this works wet or dry. This is for the house The Car The Boat The RV Shamwow holds 12 times it's weight in liquid, look at this, it just does the work. Why do you want to work twice as hard? It doesn't drip, doesn't make a mess, wring it out. You wash it in the washing machine. Made in Germany, you know the Germans always make good stuff. Here's some cola, wine, coffee, cola, pet stains. Not only is your damage going to be on top, there's your mildew. That is gonna smell, see that. Now we're gonna do this in real time, look at this, put it on the spill, turn it over without putting any pressure, 50% of the cola...right there you following me camera guy? The other 50% the color starts to come up no other towels' gonna do that. It acts like a vacuum, and look at this virtually dry on the bottom. See what I’m telling ya Shamwow you'll be saying wow every time.
You're gonna spend twenty dollars every month on paper towels anyway you're throwin away your money. The mini shamwows are for everything, for everyday use. This last ten years, this last a week, I don't know it sells itself. The shamwow sells for 19.95 you get one for the house, one for the car, two for the kitchen and bathroom. But if you call now, within the next twenty minutes cause we can't do this all day, we'll give you a second set absolutely free. So that's 8 shamwows for 19.95. It comes with a ten year warranty, here's how to order. (+ Shamwow Mop – no more hands and knees) Call 18009517100 Shamwow it not available in stores and is made in Germany beware of Shamwow imitators, call 18009517100 that’s 18009517100 call now."
He looked at the little Jellicle patiently, waiting for her to call now to order her ShamWow.
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Post by Jemima UwU on Oct 14, 2020 1:26:44 GMT
"ShamWow!" Jemima exclaimed in amazement. "That sounds like the most fucking useless product I've ever heard of! I'm a goddamn cat, what the hell would I spill that I couldn't simply lick up right my kitty tongue? You think I would spill milk and let it go to waste like that?" Jemima put her hand on Vince's shoulder. "Besides, I don't have any money. How do you expect me to pay for this?"
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